By Stephanie Nash
www.MindfulnessArts.org
(Steph's take on the 30-day Millenial Retreat led by Shinzen Young, Dec 1999-Jan 2000)
So, after 30 days of Mind Games
– is your brain fried?
Can you track Touch, Talk, Feel
– with your eyes open wide?
Do you creak when you rise? Do you limp when you walk?
Do you live in Samadhi? Can you sit like a rock?
Do you always have a strategy (!)
when you sit down to sit?
Free floating, even coverage,
inventory—bit by bit?
Does the stone Buddha dance? Does the barbarian have a beard?
Was it all that youÕd hoped for and all that you feared?
Have you observed noble silence
or were you subject to talk?
Can you observe the sensations
when you chant, eat or walk?
Ah, I see youÕve learned to be a GREAT fool and love the "donÕt
know" mind?
Are Expansion and Contraction all
you ever find?
Well, thereÕs no Guinness Book of
Dharma Records (for those who look those things up.)
ThereÕs just the lesson of the Bodhidharma – 7 times down, 8 times up.
You must now know that Equanimity
is the lubricant to the soul.
And a Complete Experience, or
Merging, or Purification is the goal.
Have you been subject to or
distracted by the coughing and the wheezing?
You know this is Toothpaste
Dharma—there may be some squirting around the squeezing.
Have you asked WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!
(If so, to you IÕll confide)
Because of Past, Present,
Future, Outside and Inside.
Form is Emptiness, and Emptiness
is Form
At the joining of Expansion and
Contraction we are Born.
If all this confuses you –
youÕve been at the wrong retreat.
Welcome to ShinzenÕs Brain Dump
– tap your toe and have a seat:
First thereÕs paramixus,
aptomictic, dyads, triads & the space bell,
Endolectic & endocusis (about internal talk)
and, well,
ThereÕs blissies,
yuckies & the crazies (like from "Observe the despiration")
And the grudgies—wait
is that Yogi Mind? (I think we all know that sensation.)
Now, in Proto-Indo-European
– No, itÕs PaliÉ. Sanskrit?
No—Hebrew!
There are 3 little letters that,
believe me, really do
Contain the entire spiritual path
– and theyÕre all inside "Shalom"
(which
is where IÕd like to be, please God, before I get home.)
Now our Shinzen is surely blessed
with an Einsteinian mind
And the patience of a 1st grade
teacher – God, what a find!
But when Shinzen takes a tangent,
itÕs not the normal kind
ItÕs technical and medical and
you just sit back & watch his mind
Dance with glee at the
possibilities & scientific correlation
To the spiritual/Buddhist
understanding of Universal Vibration.
ThereÕs vibrating super strings
& parts of the brain –No, donÕt go there!
DonÕt get him started on anatomy
or language origins where
An hour can pass and youÕve heard
a lotta of syllables which
IÕm sure are in no normal
dictionary (and can provoke a twitch.)
ThereÕs a Nobel Prize (or two)
for him when he gets his research done
But you know that heÕs doing it
as a Bodhisattva – (and for fun.)
Two days ago was the very first
time IÕd ever led a sit.
(I had thought to qualify one
must be meditationally fit.)
I used to think that meditation
was just sitting with the eyes closed.
Here IÕve learned with fascination
that itÕs not what IÕd supposed.
IÕve learned to make my images
–a wiggly Van Gogh,
And to open all my sense gates
– to allow and watch the flow.
By trying far mountain gazing I
learned a lot about urge.
And when the pendulum becomes a
wave—with the flower you will merge.
IÕve learned that Rhythm can drive you into a transcendent
state.
It goes "carrot, carrot,
carrot, stick, weaker, stronger, energy, peace."
Or itÕs the Resonant Frequency
–see, you push at the right time
And learn your own sequences
& then beat them to the line.
But IÕve not yet learned that
easing up can teach like bearing down.
IÕve been driven for a Direct Connection (if one can be found.)
Some things I find IÕm good at,
others I discover IÕve done before.
The newer and more difficult ones
– I do until IÕm sore.
If he says juggle 3 – IÕll
juggle 7 till IÕm numb.
Is that vibratory
impermanence? Or have I just
strained my thumb?
And in my last on-line when I
cried at my frustration
At wanting to get in a
month—what takes 10 years of meditation.
He said, "DonÕt worry, be happy! If I
got hit by a truck
YouÕve got access to enough
technique to get you through the muck.
Most donÕt have that, and if you
keep working like this,
Trust me, youÕll have more than
you can imagine of bliss."
So, IÕll pay attention to
everything and hold onto nothing, --or
Add up all the integers –
to make zero (and nothing more.)
But, see, zero isnÕt zero –
itÕs Nothing with a capital "N"
And then something comes from
nothing –thatÕs briah yesh mi-ayn.
And as IÕll explain to others who
just canÕt quite see,
This is what IÕll now do instead
of drinking or TV
To get rid of that waxy build-up at
the end of the day
& let
that Samskra go the Alka-Seltzer way
Into Anicca,
Impermanence, the Spirit or Qi,
The peristalsis of formless womb
that gives birth to the world in which we
Moment by moment are created and create
This presence, this Truth,
this Godness – our Fate.
One of the images I like most is
this:
"The present is born in the
infinite and infinitesimal kiss."
So, what do we do next Shinzen
–now that weÕre in shape?
"Just keep doing it" he
said, (I know cause IÕve got it on tape.)
"No self, no problem, and
when the self rises just know
There are 8 possibilities for
tracking the 3 sense gates, and Lo!
When you look to the East –
the West is behind you!
And with no craving or aversion
– Nirvana will find you.
Recycle the Reaction, of course
you know why--
It all comes down to: "Why not be smaller than the fly?!
Ride the Ox Backwards! Your Awareness – Aim & Hurl
And what youÕll find at the end
of this Noble Quest is a Pearl."
And as he turned to do more Seva in this world of wavy foam
This sage we call Shinzen said,
"Oseh Shalom."
(And as he walked away with mudita on this insightful morn
There was a soundÉsome
music? Yes, a song began to form:)
(sung) Tiny BubblesÉÉ.In
the MindÉ..
Make Life HappyÉ..All the Time. J