by Stephanie Nash
(StephÕs take on a Shinzen Young retreat – June 2000)
IÕve been through a lot since the last retreat –
Saying goodbye to my dog—who was so very sweet.
On Saturday night I opened in a play
And thus didnÕt make it to this retreat till Monday
I must admit my technique did come and go
At times IÕd be mindful (or was I), although
I see now that Equinimity is the missing key
As IÕm reminded to accept and just let it be.
Having equinimity with real Yukkies can be just so freeing
I mean to be ok with all the Fear & Pain in my being?
& Have no judgement (yeah right) –but thatÕs really the thing.
If I can just do that always – yeah, my bell will ring.
Now I missed a lot of the guided meditation
But of the few I did do I got the indication
that itÕs about
What are you doing, How will you do it and Why
(And I donÕt know about you, I say with a sigh)
But I can spend a half hour on the ŅwhyÓ part alone.
Cause I think I should? Cause I want to? Cause if I could only hone
My ability to focus this thing in my head—
This Thought Process, this Chatter—before I get led
down the road to replaying—again and again
A scene from the play –or what IÕll write with my pen.
I know why IÕm doing this, I can honestly say
cause I want to smell, touch and taste –some of that cr¸me brulee.
But I know itÕs like the monkey playing the violin in the hall.
ItÕs not how good he does it, just that heÕs doing it at all.
ItÕs the Reality Check part IÕm still working on.
And ShinzenÕs advice from his HodgePodge song--
That as the feelings expand – the IQ will contract
So be smart enough to know your STUPID and donÕt ACT.
Unless like in China, you can sit and drink oolong tea
And spit and swat flies and do exorcisms for free.
But here in LA IÕll just swat at my wandering mind,
And Ņgently bring it backÓ to the perceptive kind.
And wait for another retreat to help me
Get grounded and rooted and hopefully see.
So this concludes another episode in this continuing show.
Toward seeing talk, image feel—or the vibratory glow.
Stay tuned because next week on this very same station,
Will be more bumps and free rides with tastes of Liberation.
2011 Stephanie Nash – All Rights Reserved